I love having a one-on-one sessions with my manager. This time I associate with productivity and growth not to sound selfish but for 30 minutes it is about me and my career. The feedback is immediate on what I’m doing well, and what I can improve. No use waiting for the year-end review to first learn what I could have done better! The improvement starts immediately.

But I have learned from my failures and past managers what I prefer not to do to myself and what I should do for others.

On Linkedin I often see my connections post frequent motivational posts regarding leadership. I know some of these people who post because I worked with them. Therefore, I have some insight into their circumstances and how their superiors acted during their time at the company.

This is just my personal opinion and I have no data to back this. However, often I see these posts are about “leader vs manager” and cannot help but think this is aimed at their previous manager because of a disappointment for not growing or valuing them which ultimately became the reason for their departure.

The point I’m trying to make is your actions as a manager can affect a person negatively for a very long time. Someone is not having fun because of your ignorance and actions. THAT IS POWER!

Easy steps to effective conversations

I have rock-solid steps to improve one-on-one conversations with your engineers almost immediately. It is specific to online meetings because it is where the worst of our habits presents itself. In the face-to-face meeting, listen, engage, and be respectful. Success will depend if you are open to it as a manager and not necessarily depend on the employee. These are easy to do and all it requires is a shift in focus.

Switch on your camera

Let the person on the other side be assured they have your full attention. It is important to carry across a message with the correct body language. Tough conversations for example must have body language to show that this is not emotionless but comes from a deeply concerned and caring nature.

Do not multitask

In one-on-one multitasking is a big no-no. It is easy to spot when someone is reading while in a meeting. It takes away the focus from the conversation and affects the memory which is essential for a decision to be made on behalf of this person’s career growth. Relax your shoulders or cross your fingers in front of you. These conversations can provide us with valuable insight and clues that may be useful in other discussions, creating new opportunities for the engineer. This conversation takes 30 minutes. Being respectful to them cultivates respect for you as their manager.

Keep notes

Simple but effective. If you recall past conversations there is nothing more indicative that my manager is listening to me. On the flip side, managers can use it to hold the engineer accountable and honest.

The above steps are simple yet highly effective.

The manager’s part in the conversation

Typically, when I hire a new engineer I ask them what they want to work towards. It typically is seniority, architecture, analysis, or leadership. There are many people in an organization they can partner with to learn from. We need to help facilitate these connections and create opportunities for our people.

During every other one-on-one, we revisit their progress toward their goals. It is a good opportunity to identify gaps. For example, maybe they are too code-focused and need to learn, as a future software architect how the entire system functions. The manager can intercept this early on and advise the engineer on how to improve their approach.

As I previously mentioned, imagine you as the engineer only receives feedback at their end-of-year review! I kid you not, this happens! I have experienced this at three of my previous jobs. It is a long time to wait to get feedback. What if I’ve done something wrong and only feel the “punishment” (feedback or reward) end of the year?

The need for negative feedback originates from an event and therefore must be dealt with immediately. Immediate feedback kick-starts the remedial process and allows for course correction to take place for the engineer. It preserves the person’s confidence in the long run.

But as managers, we often miss these opportunities.

As a manager and someone who is concerned with another’s growth and advancement, this presents a fantastic opportunity to transform failure into success. Taking a keen interest in your engineer’s career and staying up to date with their activities enables immediate course correction if it is required.

This must be the conversation almost every one-on-one with the person. There should be no surprises at the end of the year review.

We as managers do not always have access to budget or promotions and even if we do there is always such a balancing act and it is impossible to give to everyone. Therefore, taking a keen interest in someone’s career and growing them is in your control and is the best we can do for our people. It may just keep them a little bit longer at the company because they are being valued and we take interest in them.

It doesn’t always have to be money and title

I cannot overstate it enough the influence the manager has over their engineers. I’m sure you have seen many posts on LinkedIn saying; “People leave managers, not companies”. I say this is true over and over. Managers are also in the spotlight when engineers leave companies due to the type of work they perform. The manager can help by finding a new role or moving the engineer onto a new project or team.

Conclusion

If you find managing people easy you are doing something wrong. If you are managing people just for the title, stop doing it and pivot your approach. Your responsibility is to grow your people into a better version of themselves. When they eventually leave the company and many do you can feel proud that they are leaving better than what they started. In the end, they are leaving because of their managers because you helped them become a better version of themself.